My sister in Colorado had a baby this weekend. The little thing was two weeks late, but Mary still went with the home birth, sans epidural or narcotics. How hardcore is that? The results are wonderful:
No name yet. Beauty?
I get all giddy and greedy this time of year when I see the UPS man swerving down the street, ping-ponging between houses on either side. Is my Amazon order in yet? Is someone sending us a present? Pick me! Pick me! On Monday night he stopped at our house with a package from Amos’ grandparents in NC. Woohoo! My dad’s wife, a.k.a. Grandjan, sent Amos a special plate to put Santa’s cookies on for Christmas Eve. I pulled out the camera to snap a few shots to share with Grandjan since she couldn’t be here to see Amos’ reaction herself. Here’s the first shot. Notice Rodney’s protective hands hovering around the porcelain plate, ready to catch it if Amos’ fingers slip:
but it's backwards
But that picture didn’t show the cute Santa-side of the plate, so we staged another. It was much better. See here:
sort of
But that shot is still kind of lame. So I asked Amos to stand still and hold the plate in front of him. Right as I was about to snap the photo, he turned and darted into the kitchen. Our kitchen has ceramic tile floors. There was a crash, then this:
oops
And then, of course, this:
dag
Bah humbug.
Shrek the Halls came on last week, and it made me remember the days before Amos when I would sometimes amuse myself by dressing my dog up in a Shrek costume. Now I spend quite a bit of time chasing Amos around, trying to get him dressed at all. Sam the golden retriever is far more laid back about putting clothes on than probably any 2-year-old on the planet. I tell you this as a caution for people who think their dog is good practice for having a child. Not so much.
This year’s Little Rock Christmas parade was ruined, and I’m pretty upset about it. Lots of it was great: The marching bands were amazing, especially Parkview and the dancing ladies in their saucy outfits. The beauty queens were fine, the motorcycles and fire trucks were a hit. But what was up with the gory, bloody, over-the-top crucified Jesus? Some overzealous church (I don’t even know which one, I was too appalled by the spectacle to read their signs) had some poor teenaged boy marching barefoot and clad only in a sheet down Capitol Ave. in 30 degree weather, hauling a cross. That would have been okay except that this freezing child was absolutely doused in fake blood, from his hair down his face and chest and running off his ankles. The sheet he wore around his waist was sopped in it. It was like the horrifying scene from “The Last Temptation of Christ.” Remember that movie? Remember how it was rated R because such violence and gore is terrifying and completely unsuitable for young audiences? So why in the world did anyone think it would be appropriate for a children’s Christmas parade? What’s wrong with a nice nativity scene? My husband and I were disgusted and we left right away. That was not what we came to see.
UPDATE: I just got all mother-hen style and called the city, where the very helpful person who answered the phone gave me a number for The Angela Rogers Group, which is the event-planning firm hired to handle the parade. The person at The Angela Rogers Group said they were really upset by the bloody Jesus, too. They had no idea he was coming. The church, which is called The Potter’s House, did not indicate on their registration form that they were going to be doing anything like that. Next year, the person I talked to said they’d keep an eye out to make sure parade participants are more child-friendly.
So I’m taking the easy way out and going with a seasonal theme for the blog today. But I promise not to get all sentimental on you. These are the things that made my weekend awesome:
1. I got to drink delicious wine with a pack of lovely ladies while we watched baby bobcats romp on a ridge overlooking the Arkansas River. I’m not even kidding, this totally happened to me.
2. The new fence around our backyard kept Amos from darting into traffic while I stayed in the hammock.
3. The cat’s litterbox really wasn’t too gross, even though I hadn’t cleaned it out in a week.
4. The leaves finally seem to have stopped falling from the heavens.
5. I got a fun e-mail from my little sister in D.C. mentioning that she was headed out to a glamorous dinner party. Ah, to be young again!
6. I got another e-mail from my friend Tara in Pennsylvania, and even though we hadn’t talked in months and months, that didn’t even matter.
7. Three-day workweek coming up. Bring it.
8. Grandbob and GrandJan sent Amos a UNC T-shirt, and it looks even more handsome that I’d hoped.
9. They sent me one, too.
10. We’re going to my in-laws’ house for Thanksgiving so I don’t have to clean my house for company or cook anything.
Happy, happy days!
Until Amos starts complaining, my husband and I skimp on Wow! Wow! Wubbzy and buy only the DVDs of the children’s shows we loved. We’ve got the two-disk Schoolhouse Rock collection (highly recommended, get one today!), half a dozen Sesame Street oldies before Elmo pushed Big Bird out of the limelight, and the full third season of The Muppet Show.
It turns out everything goes pretty much as we remembered it except the Muppets, whose behavior is far more scandalous than I noticed the first time around. Miss Piggy is always drinking champagne, and most of the time it drives her to violence. Haaaa-YA! Then there’s the terrorist Muppet who’s always blowing things up, sometimes launching Kermit through the air and all the way into the laps of those grumpy hecklers in the balcony seats. But the weird stripping by Sandy Duncan is the oddest indiscretion we’ve come across. Her first musical number starts off with her slamming a row of whiskey sours while belting out the line, “What’s a nice girl like me doing in a place that never closes?” She dances and sings in the arms of ragtag monsters while diving deeper and deeper into the cups, and when she gets fully liquored up she rips off her skirt to reveal those long, skinny gams encased in slinky black stockings.
I mean, whatever. The Muppet Show was a primetime deal meant to appeal to kids and grown-ups, and in my house I’d say it does the job. We eat it up. I’m sure back in the day my mom watched a few episodes with my brother and me, and she very well may have been enjoying an Old Milwaukee and a cigarette at the time. I wonder, though, how those party-time Muppets would go over on Nickelodeon. I hate to say it, but our parents were a lot cooler than we are.
We’ve been getting some pressure to get Amos’ hair cut, so we took him Saturday mainly so we wouldn’t have to hear the complaints anymore. Mistake! He will be a dead ringer for Axel Rose before I put him (and myself and his dad) through the trauma again. We went to Pigtails & Crewcuts, that cute little salon over by the Fresh Market where they have the little fire trucks and taxi cabs the kids can sit in while they get their hair done. I will give them props, those ladies gave it their all. First, Amos of course refused to sit in the little fire truck, so his dad had to hold him while he screamed and squirmed and tried desperately to break free. One lady tried to distract Amos by blowing bubbles, but his terror level was such that the beloved bubbles hardly registered. The cut ended up fine, although trimming the back of his neck and around his ears was far too dangerous for everyone involved. The pictures tell the sad, horrific story:
And now that it’s over, not only are we guilty for putting him through it, we’re also kind of sad about the short hair. It makes him look older. What mom wants that? Even worse, it makes him look like a miniature right-wing radio talk show host. I can’t wait for his lovely red locks to grow back out. What was I thinking?
Time for another installment of “My husband is cooler than I am.” This morning he woke up super early, must have been around 5-ish, to make a quiche. Yes, that’s awesome and completely qualifies him for all kinds of accolades, but there’s more.
Apparently he’d spent those wee morning hours trolling the internet for recordings of Hall and Oates (why? not sure) when he came across this little gem.
He was immediately smitten by the dorky ukelele-playing crooner. This became obvious when he seemed really excited to show me the youtube video as soon as I got up. It seems he’s developed a serious crush, and I’m okay with that. This girl is indeed very cool and talented. And I like that Rodney is original enough not to pine over Angelina Jolie or Heidi Klum or any of the other usual suspects.
Clearly I should have been more psyched when my husband suggested that we maybe ought to go to the Faulkner County Fair last weekend. I didn’t know what to expect, but the crowds and expense of the state fair in Little Rock were probably what was making me skeptical. That was dumb though, because the Faulkner County Fair is a billion times better than the state fair. That’s right, I said it. It’s a billion times better. For one thing, it’s FREE to get in. Second, it’s a totally manageable size, even if you’re hauling a toddler around. They have plenty of rides and plenty of animals, too. And grown-up tap dancers! Third and most importantly, you can park right there next to the entrance without having to pay. We had an amazing time. Check it out:
After the fair Amos went to stay with his grandparents, and my husband and I went to a UCA football game with friends. The game wasn’t anything special, but the halftime show ruled. They did a Journey medley and I have to say it was really great, I suppose because I’m old so I knew the words to the songs. They played well and did all kinds of fancy formations, with baton twirlers and flag wavers zipping all around to keep it extra lively. We were surprised and happy to see that the flag wavers were a boy-girl squad. I don’t remember any male flag swishers back in my day, glad the world is becoming a more open-minded place. I guess ever since that dude had a baby, pretty much anything goes. I’m totally all for it.
We really tried to go big this weekend because it’s sort of special one, Amos is starting a brand new daycare Monday. So we basically treated Saturday and Sunday like a mini summer vacation. Sunday was a bit of a dud, we were all pretty tired from the day before so we let Amos watch Shrek 2 in its entirety and pretended that counted as a special treat. Eh.
Anyway, Conway totally ruled this weekend. Who knew?
Austin Bailey used to like traveling, snazzy restaurants, oversized mugs of beer and sleeping late. Now she likes nesting, Wacky Packs, coffee drinks and sleeping through the night. Read more.
